Laziness + Incompetence = A Frustrated PCV

One of the many errands and tasks that I have had to accomplish for this girls’ camp was to get a couple banners made that welcomed the girls to the camp.  I arranged with my co-worker for them to be made by a local guy here in Bohicon and wrote out specifically what I wanted the banners to say.  I also instructed them to draw a globe on the side of the banner as well.  The banner was to say “Bienvenue a (line 1) Camp GLOW Bohicon (line 2) Girls Leading Our World (line 3)”.   I told them not to paint anything until I ok’d it.  So I went to the shop to proofread everything and I decided that I wanted them to do each of the English words in a different color that would correspond to the letter in “GLOW”.  I knew that I was reaching for the stars, but they seemed fine with it.  So I asked them what colors they had and they said that they had green, red, blue, and black.  Since the rest of the banner would be in black, I asked the apprentice if they could mix the blue and the red to make purple and use that color for the forth word and letter. 

“Non, c’est impossible!” –It’s impossible

“C’est possible; c’est facile, quoi” – It’s possible and easy

After going around with that a couple of times, I gave up.  The shop owner and boss-man came in and showed me where everything would go on the banner.  The banner was probably a foot longer/wider than the paper that they had the letters stenciled on.  That’s right, they use a stencil system here, like in kindergarten.  He said that he would put the globe at the top of the banner and then add the writing.  I didn’t like that, so I asked him why he didn’t just put the globe on the side, like we already agreed on and he said that there is no space, which on the paper, there isn’t enough space, but on the banner (what really matters in the end), there is.  I told him that if he cut out the lines and spaced them out equally on the banner that there would be more than enough space.  

“No, you didn’t understand what I said.”  Then he (and my co-worker, whom is equally slow) proceeded to re-explain the same thing to me like I’m an enfant with a learning disability.  It was about at this time that I put my fingers to my temples, looked down, took a deep breath, and tried to practice my patience. 

“Yes, I understood what you said, but you aren’t understanding me.”

This lasted longer than it should have and I had to listen to them (the shop owner AND my co-worker, who is supposed to be on my side) swear that the problem is my incompetence in French, not their incompetence in imagination/problem solving.  They insisted on re-explaining their reasoning to me about 5 times, which forced me to re-explain my point just as many. 

Finally, we agreed that in order to understand each other, we would have the apprentice cut out each line so I could show them what I was talking about on the banner itself.  Fifteen minutes later, I spaced out the lines equally and put the picture of the globe to the side.  “Ahhh huuuuhhhh!”  They finally understood. Then, after we had that sorted out, I asked him if it would be possible to mix the blue and red to make purple for the forth color in “GLOW”. 

“No, that’s way too much work”.  Are you freakin’ kidding me??

“No, it’s easy.  You just get another can, fill it half with blue and half with red and mix it up with a pen or something.  If you give me the materials, I will show you.”

“No, I don’t have time for that.  It’s too much work”. 

That conversation went on for another five minutes before I could convince him that it wasn’t too much work and that he was capable of doing it.  So once we had that under control, he asked me if I wanted the first line to be in purple too.  I said that black was fine, but it didn’t really matter to me if it was in purple or black; whatever was easier for him.  Well, that confused the hell out of him for some reason until I had to cut him off and tell him to just stick to the letter and corresponding word for purple and leave the top line in black.  I then drew it out on a piece of paper to be super clear.  That led to the discussion of when it would all be finished and we could pick it up.  He wanted a week to stencil in letters and draw a globe.  My co-worker wanted to get it in 2 days.  Since we’re the paying customers, we actually won that battle.

As we were out the door, he asked my co-worker in the softest voice that I have ever heard (which proves that they CAN have a conversation without screaming—they just choose not to most of the time) so I wouldn’t hear, for the rest of the money.  The expression that he had on his face was the same expression that homeless crazy women have when they ask for food and money when they see a white person.  Since we didn’t have any money on us anyway, it was easy to get out of that one and make the agreement that the rest would be paid when we pick up the banners. 

This whole ordeal lasted over an hour and although it may not seem very frustrating, it really was, and places in the top ten most frustrating days in Benin.  I guess it’s all just part of the experience though and I’m sure I’ll somehow be a better person in the long run for it.  At least, that’s what I tell myself when I get into situations like those.  In hindsight, it was pretty funny.  We should start a TV show out here.